Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
