we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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