i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
