come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
