HIV tests are more positive than that guy
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
