I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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