Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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