We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
porn star boner night. come get it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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