Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
