She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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