we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
