She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
