I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
