I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
