I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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