Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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