i think my mom watched the whole time
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
