What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
