Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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