My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
