the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
