He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
