I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
