Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
