Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
