can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
