you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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