In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
