it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
