P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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