Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
