yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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