Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
