I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
