I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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