If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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