this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
