Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
