Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
