Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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