it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
