Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
