and you said cock pushups were impossible
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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