I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
