this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
