i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
