I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
