are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
