i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
