haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
